I Love The Broken Ones
by iheartligers
Summary: Another Post Mockingjay Pre Epilouge. Every Chapter based on a different song. Rated T because it's a Hunger Game's fic. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1: Hero

A/N: yeah I know, yet another story. But this isn't just any story. This is the overly used cliché after mocking jay, before epilogue. LOL well I hope you like it, and there is a mass update on the way, so don't fear, I'm hoping to post a chapter of everything by this weekend.

I'm not the genius that wrote the Hunger Games

Chapter One: Hero

Katniss Point of View

It had been three days since I last did anything. Three days since I ate, went hunting, or saw anyone. I preferred just laying here, in the bottom of my closet wrapped in a safe cocoon. No one could touch me. No one could hear me. And most importantly, no one could harm me. I was finally safe. I usually slept, waking up in a panic from my latest night mare.

_ It was in front of President Snow's mansion. Gale was beside me. There was the blockade of children. Then came the flash of blonde hair. I knew instantly who it was. Prim. Then came the explosions, and Gale grabbed me, laughing as I struggled against his grip. He took my neck, and flung me into the fire. Right next me lay my beautiful sister's charred remains. I tried to scream, but I only ended up choking on smoke. I was burning. The girl on fire burning to her own death, yet I wouldn't die. The pain seemed excruciating. Yet death refused to take me, like it took my sister. Someone pulled me up, and out of the flames, just in time. My throat was in too much pain that I didn't want to breathe. As the person carried me through the flames, I realized how many people they could have helped, would have been easier to get to. Innocent children that deserved to live so much more than I did. Why did they decide to save me instead? Why did they save the most deserving to die?_

There was suddenly a loud banging noise on my door, waking me up. My face was soaked from crying. I had to get out of here. I felt like I was suffocating. I started to claw my way out, screaming in frustration. There was a loud creak as someone pulled open the closet door. I could dimly see the light through all of the layers of clothes wrapped around me. Someone yanked the covering off of me, finally allowing me to breathe. A hero saving me just in time. I looked up into his blue eyes and let out a sigh. After everything he still had to try and be my hero. He offered me his hand, trying to help me up. But I didn't need a hero, right? I brushed it off and slowly brought myself up on my own, weakly since I had barely used my legs for days.

"Katniss are you okay?" he asked quietly. No, I wasn't I was struggling to stand up straight, to stand on my own two feet, but I didn't need a hero.

"Yes." One word it's the most I've said to him or anyone in months. My reply didn't satisfy him; he still held his intent gaze on me. I hated it and no longer found the effort to meet it. I dropped my eyes down to our feet. Mine were hurting already, bare and cracked. My toe nails were the complete opposite of my finger nails that were now barely visible. He actually had on shoes. Boots covered by his pant legs. He looked better than the broken boy I met in District 13. He almost looked like the boy with the bread. Except, I knew he was not a boy anymore.

"Have you been eating?" he asked only slightly more confident in his words this time. As if not fully trusting his voice not to betray him. I only nodded. I knew words would be betray me, break me down. I met his eyes again. They looked pained and I was the one to blame for it. Everything in his life ever gone wrong was because of me. I don't need a hero.

"I'm fine," I whispered, trying to walkout of the room. I had to get out of here. Just another human's presence seemed suffocating. Especially his. As I brushed past him to get my hunting hear. I suddenly needed open space, I felt like I was drowning and once I was out there I could think clearly. He grabbed my hand. I stiffened in shock, but didn't turn around. If I looked at him, I would break down again.

"You need to eat," Is all he said before he let me go. I ran downstairs and out the back door. I tore through Victor's Village and made my way to the meadow. My legs were tired, and I was breathing heavily. Dropping and just letting the ground take me seemed so good just then. Giving up. It would be so easy. _The forest._ I thought, _just need to get to the tree line._ I dragged myself slowly into the treeline, only then, finally letting my body collapse.

Peace. No cocoons, no darkness, no suffocation, or hiding. I could almost forget everything that ever happened. Almost. Then suddenly all the memories came rushing at me. All the pain and suffering that I have caused came crashing down on me, and didn't let me up. It was all my fault.

It was my fault that mom was gone.

It was my fault that Gale can't look at me, let alone live in the same district as me.

It was my fault that Darius is an Avox.

It was my fault that Peeta now only has one leg.

It was my fault that He's changed.

It was my fault that he's stuck with me.

It was my fault that he got high jacked.

It was my fault that Annie's baby will never have a father.

It was my fault that is alone.

And it was my fault that Prim is dead.

Yes, it was my fault my own sister was dead. That she will never come back. That she will never fall in love, and get married, or have kids. These morbid thoughts lulled me into an almost dreamless sleep. The only dream I had was strong, comfortable, and familiar arms carrying me home and tucking me in. It felt so good. I didn't deserve it. But then again, maybe I did need a hero.


	2. Chapter 2: Monster

A/N: Hey guys, sorry I didn't have this up sooner. Thank You so much to Cammie Morgan Goode! Reviews really mean a lot to me, but either way I will write this one, because it's really special to me. So the title monster comes from one of the most awesome songs in the world, Monster by Skillet. It's not a song fic even though I do use some of the lyrics. You don't have to listen to the song, but I recommend it because the song is just that good.

I sadly don't own Hunger Games, Skillet, or the song Monster or Hero, both written by an amazing song writer, John Cooper. So without further ado

I Love the Broken Ones

Chapter Two: Monster

Peeta's Point of View

I did anything I could to say busy. I cooked, I cleaned, I painted, I read, anything to keep the twisted, shiny, memories at bay. Because if I let them out they would tear me up and break me down. Yet there was no one to make it end. She had enough problems without having to take care of me.

Why are trying to help me?

It's what we do, we take care of each other...

I couldn't believe that even after I tried to kill her, flipped her life upside down, and accused her of terrible things, she still wanted to help me. Dr. Aurelis said to start defining what's real, especially when I was finally making progress, and the flash backs came much more infrequently. She had all the answer to my questions. Through this entire mess, she was my last friend. Haymitch certainly didn't count. The only other thing I had to answer questions were old Hunger Game tapes, and I did anything to stay out of the arena. I decided to try and help her, again. It's what we did. I remember how just having her next to me helped as we went into the Quarter Quell. I decided that helping her would help me again. I felt the sensation, and felt it just beneath the skin. I focused on dusting, hoping to try and control, but I couldn't and I was thrust into a flash back.

She was trying to drown me in the stream. Rolling me over me over and holding my head under. I remember her laugh, as my struggle just fueled her desire for my blood. Why was the water so shiny? That thought brought me out of it. I was sweating buckets. God I was a monster. After everything I KNOW happened, even after her, Finnick, and even Gale, tried to explain it to me, I still had these terrifying flashbacks that just ruined my image of her. I remember the Dr. telling me he was really worried for Katniss, that she just felt weary and numb, and no longer had the will to do anything. I tried to remembering this when she gave me the mortified look after seeing me plant the primroses. That rejection I felt, still hurt. I'm afraid that I may have pushed her too far with that act.

I decided to bake to calm myself down. I was thinking too much. I was making a simple loaf of sour dough. If I was doing this bad, I can't imagine what's going on with Katniss. The doctor also explained that she was doing much worse, and he hoped that getting her out of the capitol would help. I began to think that I was making this loaf of bread for Katniss. She would like it, cheese buns were her favorite, that's something I have never forgotten. I had to make sure this was perfect. It seemed to take longer than usual, but when it was finally done, I wrapped it up and headed across the street to her house.

It was almost two hours away from sunset, my favorite time of day. I loved just standing outside and watching, it gave me hope. Maybe I could coax her out of her house to come and watch it with me like we did on the roof of the Training Center. I got nervous as I quickly approached her house. I took a deep breath as I made my way up the porch steps, mentally preparing myself to see her again.

Katniss is not a mutt. Katniss will not try to kill me. Katniss is not evil. We were in the Hunger Games together, and she saved my life many times. Katniss and I were once engaged. Katniss and I are...

It's sad that I didn't know how to respond to that one, even to myself in my head. It was certainly not part of the exercises that the Doctor told me to do if I felt I was going into a flashback around her. I doubt that anything would happen, even on bad days I barely had a flashback. I was about to knock on the door, when it opened. I was shocked because all that seemed real to me anymore was Katniss and Haymitch.

"Hello Peeta." greeted Greasy Sae.

"Hey is Katniss here?" I asked. I regretted it as soon as her eyes seemed to darken.

"She won't see you," she answered, her tone far from pleasant as her greeting was. She seemed to hear her tone and she quickly responded.

"She won't see anyone, not even me." She sighed, obviously frustrated with this situation.

"Is she okay?" I asked, not caring how scared I sounded, or how obvious the question.

"I don't know, she hasn't been eating nearly enough, and she hasn't come out of her room for days." She was now pinching the bridge of her nose. I knew how difficult and stubborn Katniss could be. It would give anyone a headache.

"Can I try?" I asked. She wasn't the only that needed help, she was the only one that could make it end.

"I was about to go..." she answered as if contemplating my offer. Of course she wouldn't leave me here alone with her. Everyone knew what happened in District 13. I must confess, that every time someone gave me the look, like they knew, it made me feel like a monster. I hated when people looked at me like that, or talked to me like that, like I was a cold blooded killer. So, I was shocked when she stepped out of the doorway, indicating for me to go in.

"Good Luck!" she called as she walked out and closed the door behind her. I stood there for a good few minutes with my mouth hanging open, looking like an idiot. I walked into the living room and set the wrapped up loaf of bread on the coffee table. I walked up the stairs to her room. I could barely see where I was going. All the lights were off, and all the curtains were drawn closed. It was so dark that I walked straight into a wall. No, not a wall, a wall doesn't make the noise. I felt around and found the outline of a door. I ran my hand along the wood and found a knob. I twisted it open, and heard loud, labored breathing. There was a heaving lump on the floor of the closet. I knew exactly what it was.

If I unburied her, she would hate me, but if what Greasy Sae was true, it's been days that she has been in here. I made my decision, and yanked a fur coat off of her. She looked nothing like I remembered, except in dreams where she was slowly withering away right in front of me. I should have been her sooner, days ago, I could have helped her.

I feel like a monster...

It looks like all she did was cry for days. Her eyes were extremely puffy, red, and dull. She looked up at me. Her cheek bones looked very sharp, too sharp. Withering away. She looked wilted and about to fall over. I offered her my hand to help her up, but as usual she refused it. Why did even the simplest rejections from her hurt more than it should have? She tried to get up on her own, and I let her.

"Katniss, are you O.K.?" I asked her hoping my voice didn't crack, or scare her. She obviously wasn't and I already knew her answer, but I still felt compelled to ask. Stil trying to stand, she shakily whispered a one worded reply.

"Yes," Lies, and we both knew it. She refused to look at me as I desperately tried to meet her grey eyes. Even after everything, she was my last hope. She tried to just brush me off and walk out of the room, out of the house, and (undoubtly) into the woods. But she hadn't eaten in days, and I doubted that she could make it, no matter how strong she was. To both of our amazement, she made it to the bedroom door. I caught her hand as she paused..

"Have you been eating?" I asked firmly. I knew the answer; I just had to hear her voice, no matter what came out.

"I'm fine," was all she said. Even her voice sounded shaky. This made me realize just how broken and messed up we were.

"You need to eat." I said, and let her go. She ran down the stairs and out the back door so fast that I almost didn't register it. I slowly made my way down the stairs myself, turning on all the lights as I went. Light. It's one of the many things the capitol tortured me with, yet I hated the dark. It hides all the nightmares, mutts, and pods. I don't know why she had them off, but we always seemed to be opposites. I made my way down to the kitchen, and found the back door ajar. Should I go after her? No. She needed time to think things over. She would only run, or try to run. If I came after her. She couldn't have gone very far. I looked around and noticed that Greasy Sae had done a good job of keeping everything clean. I looked through the pantry and found them, unsurprisingly, empty. Sae had left some soup on the stove; I started to heat up, determined to feed Katniss something. I also got the break from the living room. I noticed that the sun was sinking now. I had to go look for her, it was starting to get colder these days. I walked through the meadows, shuddering at the thought of everyone I knew laying right underneath my feet. My family...

I pushed the though aside to avoid another episode, and gritted my teeth. I started looking around called her name. I heard and anguished scream, and ran to where it came from. She lay in a crumpled heap on the forest floor. Completely broken. I picked her up and carried her home. I was scared at the thought of how light she was. Once I got her in her bed, she caught my hand as I turned to leave.

"Stay with me..." she asked.

"Always." I whispered in reply. I stood watching her until I was sure she was asleep. I headed down stairs, turned the stove off, and passed out on her couch.


End file.
